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Paul'S PlacE ❗ ⭕❗⭕ ❗⭕
These stories and irreverent points of view usually make sense... to me.
I hope you.ll share my smile.
(©April 2018-22 May - Paul)
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Stuff Happens All The Time... Some Of It Sticks... Doesn't It... 😎
Posted:Dec 23, 2019 11:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2020 12:06 pm
Life is filled with stuff that we stumble upon. Last week, a bunch of stuff, caught my attention...

I filled a prescription at the pharmacy on Tuesday. There was a notice on their board ; 'Tell us your humorous side effects stories and get featured on our website'. I thought about it. Who doesn't like to be 'featured'?

The mall is where I visited my shoemaker ; we all have one... don't we? The sign on the glass door said ; 'Back In Fifteen Minutes'. I guess you have to give people hope. He showed up an hour later. I stayed busy drinking coffee and casually gawking at well dressed lady shoppers. It wasn't as creepy as it sounds. OK... perhaps it was.

My 'new' young neighbor isn't quite used to the concept of 'real' mail. The mailman was delivering some envelopes last week. She caught me as I walked down the stairs and asked if she should tip him per piece of mail... or per visit .

I feel good about my bathroom again. I've had a leaky faucet (since forever), so I put a zip lock, sandwich bag around the tap. It's temporary, but I don't hear the drips any more ; unless the bag fills up and falls off. I'm sticking duct tape on the plastic...that should hold better.

We live in such a needy society these days, don't we? I had a power failure last Saturday ; in fact, the whole block went black. I was OK - thanks. I have an 'unlimited data plan' (on my cell phone), so I was still able - to 'log on' HERE . Some people though... such a reliance on electricity . I mean, take the milk and leftover chicken legs out of the fridge and put it into the snow, on your balcony. What's the problem?

It's hard to be upset if something bad happens... and YOU , are the one who caused it. My toilet was backed up. I've got enough issues with my own shit ; I certainly didn't need anyone else's... to confuse me.

There's other stuff I could mention. I'm sure you've got yours. Some of it sticks - doesn't it?

Some Action... Is Better Than NO Action At All... 😎🔥
Posted:Dec 19, 2019 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2020 12:10 pm
I was at the office the other day, chiseling through files on my des Without warning... there was a power failure in the whole building.

The lights went off, all the computer screens went dark and the ventilation system sputtered, then purred ... a dead halt. Everything went completely silent... and blac One second later, a loud groan rushed out in unison - from every person there. A man in an agitated voice shouted...

"O My phone's not working and my screen's not working. They're BOTH not working for fucks sake!"

A minute later... the power surged back on with a loud hum. Everything and everyone, roared life. I heard a man yell ; " OK . I'm good. It's ALL good. They WORK now."

I stood up from my chair to see who HE was - but, I already knew. Every company has one, don't they? It was time for lunch.

I walked into the cafeteria and paused. Someone, was percolating some fish stew in the microwave - again . I looked around and saw the ladies huddled over by the windows. I decided to join them and sat down. Brenda grinned... with her mouth full ; Silvie and Latoya were engaged in a discussion.

I unwrapped my food. Black forrest ham with lettuce, mayo and dijon, with a slice of provolone - on a ciabatta bun - and a fresh tomato on the side. The women... entertained me with their conversation.

"It's been so long, I forget what it feels like, ya know? I'm not getting ANY . So I made a doctor's appointment, to see my gyno. Some action is better than NO action," declared Silvie to her compatriots, who laughed and nodded.

The girls stood up and waved goodbye. I was left alone, by the windows ; munching on my sandwich and chewing on my thoughts. My reflections were eventually interrupted... it was him .

He'd seen the empty spots next to . I bundled up my crumbs and smiled as he sat down. He grinned and spoke...

"Hey Paul... Did you guys have a power failure where you were today?"

I sit, in the cubical behind him.

"No. Our part of the building wasn't touched at all," I replied smiling, then waved. That's how we roll here - we wave .

As I walked back to the office, my reflections... continued : Some action, is better than NO action. Really? There's NO way, I'm calling my proctologist. Perhaps that 'gyno' thing is different... for women...

... and who's fricking fish was still fizzling in the micro?😶

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I Won The Lotto... And Blew It On A Bear... 😎
Posted:Dec 16, 2019 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2020 6:32 pm
Who plays the Lotto? Is there a more pathetic retirement strategy - than following that plan? Ahh... 'twas youthful ambition I once had. I thought I'd persist, till I won. And then... I did.

The clerk at the counter checked my ticket. Cheerful bells chimed instantly, as my eyebrows raised and my posture straightened; "So... can I retire?" I laughed. The clerk paused and widened his eyes.

"No. But I think you've won more money, than I have in the cash," he gasped.

Several days later (with my bank account bulging), my friends and I... strutted into that packed dance bar, on a Friday night. I saw HER , from a distance as I approached. I was seeking a companion - a witness to my tale - and a partner to share in my good fortune. She looked fabulous. I was cocky and confident and I thought... we'd be fun together. So I playfully invited her to join us. She smirked and offered an opinion about 'pretenders' and 'losers' , then turned and walked away. I smiled and joined my crew.

Have you ever sat - at the 'elite, bottle service table' - in a night club? It's obnoxiously tacky... and pretentiously loud. It's perfect - if you're shallow and have NO budget. That, described me. We had a blast.

At some point, I squeezed back into the crowd and along a path of squished persons... all the way over... to the bathroom. There SHE was again ; pressed into a corner with two guys draped over her shoulders, sniffing her neck. Her eyes caught mine. She watched me - with that 'trapped look' - as I passed by.

Many of us judge people, based on the first things they say. I know occasionally I do. She did. I imagine, in that light... I might have sounded like an arrogant jerk.

Unfazed, I'd found another lady who had a sense of humour and didn't mind sharing it with me. The frenzied night multiplied, ripped itself into hazy shreds... and rumbled... long into the next morning. It was epic.

I didn't blow all my winnings that evening. I bought a stunning, gold 'polar bear' tie clip - from 'Tiffany'. I still have it to this day. I guess... it's part of my retirement plan. Hmmm... Yeah. I'm workin' on it. 🤔

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Fifty Floors Up... I Tested The Breeze... And... 😮😐
Posted:Dec 12, 2019 11:24 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:50 pm
She asked me if she could see it. I said ; "Sure." I worked for the engineering firm that was putting it up. It was that tall gray building downtown - with the pointy top. The one that resembled a penis. We wore white construction helmets ; very official looking.

We walked up those last few flights of metal stairs and paused. It was dark ; shadows ruled that space. City lights shimmered and stars twinkled... over towards the right. We held our breath - as if someone, might hear.

The wind cared less as it played a boisterous tune, along steel beams and between, red painted pillars. I reached for her hand... and we tread onto that dusty, concrete floor. White plastic sheets (draped along walls), flapped wildly in the draft. We walked closer towards the far side. You can see a lot of the world, from fifty floors up. Yet, I could vaguely hear ... the muffled growl of traffic below.

"Paul...! That's close enough." she exclaimed.

She leaned and stepped away from me... as I tested the breeze and peered... over the edge. How much closer could I get? When my stomach filled with a million butterflies... and my head grew dizzy, I realized - I might be near enough. I sensed her hand pull... and yank me back.

We hugged each other, as the wind whistled in our ears and silenced the city. It was a beautiful night.

"One more glance, over the brink?" I thought. My heart raced. Could I trust that breeze... not to nudge me?

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The Blind Date... Turned Explosive... 🔥😮
Posted:Dec 9, 2019 11:58 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:33 pm
And then... there was this time when an acquaintance, thought I would enjoy - meeting her friend. Early signs hinted... that the night might not go as planned.

The Uber was late. I couldn't wait any longer... so I hailed a cab. A driver with a thick British accent greeted me as I slid into the back seat. He slowly eased into heavy traffic, as I nervously glanced at my watch and spoke ; "Is this, the fastest way? Shouldn't you be taking the highway? Are you from England?"

"No. I just watch a lot of 'BBC' and fell in love with the accent," he replied dryly.

Funny guy. I made it to the restaurant on time. My date was waiting for me in the lobby. She was shorter and much older ; than her friend had described. And, she had a cute cheerful smile. We warmly greeted each other and casually, made our way to the hostess.

"Reservations for Paul," I cavalierly proclaimed.

The woman in the black dress and gold rimmed glasses scanned her page of names, brought a pen up to her mouth, looked at me... and smirked.

"We have no reservations under that name sir. Are you sure , you called?"

"Yes! I called on Monday and made reservations for next Saturday. That's today," I replied with a tinge of exasperation, seeping into my voice.

She responded, with a lecture.

"No sir. That's not, how it works here. THIS Saturday is today. NEXT Saturday means next WEEK," she raised her glasses and peered into my (livid) eyes. "By the way sir... NEXT Saturday, we've still got openings. Would you like a reservation?"

I must have turned a deep shade of red ; as her monologue lengthened.

"Now... the wait tonight is only t.wo hours. In the mean time you and... your lady friend, can appreciate our beautiful 'art', in the lounge. She pointed with her pen, to a petite, poorly lit room... over by the side.

We left.

I found another restaurant with an open table... down the street. My 'lady friend'- Veronica - and I finally ... settled into our seats and began the inevitable, small talk. I (mistakenly) asked about her ex husband.

"Yes... He was killed by the drink... he was," she spoke while lowering her eyes.

"Ahhh... He was an alcoholic," I nodded sadly.

"Oh no. He got by a Budweiser truck."

A fine bottle of French Bordeaux had - at last - arrived. "Thank God," I thought and quickly, changed the topic.

"Have you read any good books recently," I queried hopefully.

"Oh I don't read books. But I am a member of a book club. Makes me feel... as if I read. You know?" she smiled.

I looked at her and blinked.

Veronica was nervously chugging her third glass of wine when she suddenly clutched her stomach and grimaced. "Oh my! This wine... is going to go straight through me."

I cringed and silently waited - as if expecting something to happen. She spoke... hesitantly...

"You know Paul... I don't feel well. Excuse me," and she sprinted to the lady's room.

Our night together, ended when she returned. Turns out... her issues were best dealt with, at home. We politely shook hands and went our separate ways.

I hailed a cab. Of all the coincidences... you'll never guess who my cabbie was? Yes - it was 'British guy'. What were the chances, huh?

In spite of his protests, I obliged him to take the expressway. He... had been right! Road work had completely bottled everything up and we crawled along... for more than an hour. It wasn't as bad as it sounded. I got to listen to his 'Beatles' channel, on Spotify and his stories of growing up in Manchester. Interesting stuff.

I had a good time anyway. You live and learn, right?

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Masturbation... Is It The Key To Success... 🤔😮
Posted:Dec 5, 2019 1:10 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 9:44 am

The - 'year end sales' - meeting, had been going on for hours. It was harsh and intense. F.ourteen of us had been sitting there round a table, squirming... and by that time of the day - we were all a bit haggard and beat up. Then... I got a great idea on how to feel better.

I took advantage of the break, went into the private bathrooms and stood by the sink ; not to pee but, to relieve some tension. I know what you're thinking ; "Paul... that's not very professional." Yes but... it's a very effective way to relax. It only took a few minutes ; I was motivated. After I'd reached my goal - I felt sooo much better. I rushed out... back into the carnage of that huddle. Everyone was settling in.

As I breezed into the conference room and took my spot... she paused. Diane ( the attractive Eastern Sales Rep sitting next to me), lifted her chin, turned her head and looked at me. I sat down and noticed her stare... which by now was a smirk. I squinted at her, shrugged my shoulders and asked ; "What?"

She replied with raised eyebrows and leaned over, with a whisper... that only I heard ; "Did you just go fuck yourself?"

I almost choked on my own saliva. I mean seriously? She couldn't have known. Was there a stain on my pants or had she smelt something. Or was it the peaceful look on my face that gave me away? How could she have known?

She glanced at me... a number of times ; a smile permanently painted on the corners of her lips. Then... the VP sales (he's a real asshole), asked her a question. It was like a barrel of crushed ice, had been dropped on top of both of us.

My mind drifted... as the myriad of revenue numbers, hypnotically flashed on a screen.

If you’re not already masturbating regularly, you might want to add it into your daily routine. Masturbation releases dopamine, and oxytocin and a slew of other chemicals which lowers pain and increase endorphins and makes you feel good. All in all... a purely therapeutic and happy event, worthy of a few minutes of your time.

When that sales manager woke me from my stupor and asked, what I thought we needed to do, to increase sales ; my first thought was to say - "Let's all masturbate more often."

I didn't. I suggested something lame like - 'trying harder'. Which come to think of it ; is a pretty good idea as well. I looked at Diane after I'd answered and visualized her... uh... you know. I'd use that image for my next session.

Everyone needs an incentive, don't we? 🤔

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Humour Me... Said The Mime... If She Could Speak... 🔥
Posted:Nov 25, 2019 12:09 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:51 pm
Saturday morning I was at my buddy * FrankeeZee's house, having coffee and talking.

Frankee's habit, of employing aspiring artists, found us trapped in the living room. He'd hired a mime to do the housekeeping. Silly mime kept putting up walls. It took us forever , to find the door.

"Hey Paul... Ever meet anyone, who admitted to you that they had NO 'sense of humour'?" That was Frankee's question, as we sat down in his kitchen.

Come to think of it - nobody, has ever said that to me. EVERYONE thinks they have one. We ALL believe we're funny, don't we? FrankeeZee took a sip of his espresso and spoke...

"The brain, is our largest sexual organ. When I meet an intelligent woman, my Spidey sense goes off and I get seriously interested. Women get the same feeling about men. But... there's a limit to how long discussions - about Karl Jung... or 'The Beatles' influence on contemporary music - can go on for. You know what I mean Paul? Ya need to laugh."

I nodded. I knew what he meant. Humour... that's the tipping point. It's what completes a couple ; even a casual pairing. FrankeeZee's thoughtful lecture continued...

"If she's laughing at your jokes and witticisms and you're laughing at hers. It's that next step . The one that never grows old or withers. Laughter... is an affirmation that you both get... each other. It's like that special hug, with a really tight squeeze... and a warm kiss. A long one... with eyes closed and breathless hearts."

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked. Had he , been reading a book?

"I'll tell you what, Paul. Let's say... she has twinkling eyes, sultry lips and a cute smile... and alluring curves - interesting ones - and her skin is as soft as satin ; that's , not enough. How long can physical qualities alone , interest a man... OR a woman? Seriously ... how long?"

FrankeeZee looked at me, paused thoughtfully and replied to his own question. "Maybe eighty, or a hundred times? Three or four years - tops?"

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked again. Everyone, probably has their own number.

FrankeeZee had made a good point. Someone's laughter, echoing softly in one's ear ; it's what men and women seek, don't they?

That , and sex ... AND... a way out of the kitchen.

Frankee's mime had shuffled in, to clean the kitchen and was putting up... another fricken wall.

*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
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Six Simple Subtle Secrets... to Succeed On Sex Sites... 🤔 Some pics... attached 😮🔥
Posted:Nov 21, 2019 12:09 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2019 9:06 am
ill often stumb l acro s peop e... UGH ...
... hang on a second... damn site...

OK. Fixed. We're good to go. 😊

I'll often stumble across people - in the 'real world' - who recognize me, come up... and ask ; "Paul, how can we succeed on sex sites?" And I tell them ; "I have no fucking idea. Why are you asking me?"

They insist. I disagree. They beg. I make something up. Here's what I tell them... in point form.

1. Goals :
Set yourself a realistic goal. Why are you there? What are you looking for? Is it for a hookup, chat, blogging, cams? Are you a perv? What..?

2. Profiles :
Women - definitely fill it up. Let's all pretend that men read.
Men - why bother? As long as you have a dic pic, you're good to go. Blank résumés have always worked, yes ?

3. Profile Pics :
Women - A painted toe... is fine for most guys. Grey scale and lips, used to be a craze but now... teeth, are popular.
Men - No worries. Ya got a dic pic? Enlarge it and take another.

4. Blogs : Sure... Do whatever you want, as long as you...

And at THAT point those people - who asked me the question - have usually, lost interest in my answer. Hmmm...

In any case, I'm not hoarding secrets. Everybody has a tip, right?

In the meantime... here are some pics, for those of you, who stopped reading, after the words ; "I'll often stumble..."

Yep... I often do.
Naked people below...

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It Takes... A Thief... 😮🤔
Posted:Nov 19, 2019 12:33 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:33 pm
They, were a couple of software engineers from Ireland, visiting our company for the week. A buddy (Dave) and I, decided to be good hosts. We'd make sure they saw the sights of the city and get a feel for the vibe of our town. What better place to start, then at one of the many drinking establishments we knew? Or so we thought.

There was a live band playing on stage, as the four of us piled around an empty table. "There's a two drink minimum," the waitress shouted, above the din of the music. One of the Irish lads, Brody, replied...

"Well... as long as there's no maximum, we'll be fine."

Several hours and many 'Jameson' shots later, the bar man sternly came up to us. "Gentlemen we're going to have to ask you to leave. You're too DRUNK."

Connor (the other Irish lad) spoke up. "Isn't that the point of a bar? To serve your until they get drunk? Then... he continued his indignant lecture ; "Ya know... I've never been thrown out by a restaurant... for being too FULL... for fucks sake!"

And... before we knew it, we were all standing outside on the sidewalk, collecting our thoughts. Brody had lost his hotel room key. Connor couldn't find his wallet. And me? Well... I was the designated driver. Although I'd left my car at home.

They all wanted to go to a strip club. I didn't. And that's, how my Monday night went. The 'old man' in the crew, had had enough. The younger men did well and showed up at the morning meeting, bright eyed and bushy tailed... sort of.

"Ahh... to be young and full of boundless energy," I thought. Seems that 'time', had placed a quota on my stamina. When did that 'thief', ever catch up to me? I never even saw him coming. I thought... I was immune to his stealth. Most of us do. 🤔

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Treat Yourself... Once In A While... 😮😊
Posted:Nov 14, 2019 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2019 12:10 pm
It was around lunch time on Saturday. I was running about and the day was dragging so... I decided to treat myself to food - prepared by random strangers. I chose a cute little Italian bistro, not far from home. Did I have time for a glass of wine? "Sure," I thought. "Why not?"

I looked on my table for a wine list. In the vibrant energy of that lively place, it took a few minutes... for the waiter, to appear and answer my question.

"We don't have a wine list," he replied blankly.

"Well, what wines do you have?"

At which point my waiter nodded. And... with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes, strode quickly to the back of the bar (where he spoke with the manager) and then - hustled quickly back up to my table. And breathlessly replied...

"They're ALL... thirteen percent."

Red, was the colour I chose. It was also the color of my plate of rigatoni bolognese, which I might add - was a real pleasure. The flavours...? I don't know exactly what they put in there, but they pulled it off. I was impressed !

The wine turned out to be, surprising as well. From a local winery and all, but really, really ... smooth. I had a second glass, to confirm my suspicions about the first.

I walked out of that, tiny busy bistro, with a huge smile on my face... and wondered something. I mean, that place had been there for a few years : why, had I never gone there before?

And then it dawned on me. I just don't treat myself very often. How many of us, do?

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Just... Like A Warm Scarf... ❤️
Posted:Nov 11, 2019 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2020 7:02 am
As she stepped into the empty house, sadness rushed to greet her. She closed the door and listened, to the gloomy silence and her own breathing. The keys in her hands jingled cheerfully, as if to mock her.

Her heels clicked across the dark grey, stone tiled floor and echoed, off bare white walls. She reached the kitchen and paused. Slowly, she pulled the keys off the brass ring and threw them, on the black marble counter. He ... had already been there and had left his set... neatly stacked and perfectly labelled.

She sighed, as she glanced at her watch and realized she was early. The real estate agent, wouldn't be there for another hour. She'd linger one last time, in a home where she'd lived, for more than thirty years.

Imagined voices and giggles called to her. She followed them... down the hallway and up the stairs. She walked into rooms, once littered with toys and dolls ; where clothes had been strewn, in piles on beds. She smiled to herself, recalling all those silly , motherly complaints.

The walls, with all their tiny holes and scratches and scribbles (in pencil and pen), offered clues... that someone had lived there. Time had been measured in inches... as they'd grown. "My gosh. Were they really, that little?" she thought, as she crouched down to touch her daughters' initials. They were squiggled in red and blue crayon and had nearly faded, into invisibility.

In another room, she closed her eyes and could almost smell - the fresh paint. She'd always loved that shade of green and was proud of her efforts with a roller, and a brush. He , would never forget to remind her... just how much he hated - chartreuse.

Eventually, she wandered back into the kitchen. An open drawer, drew her closer. She peered in and... tucked at the back... found something, that had been left behind. It was a picture. A small one, framed by the people who sold it to her. You've probably seen them - those pictures, that is. They're the ones snapped as you roar down the steep angles of 'epic' rides, at amusement parks.

The image, was of the four of them - her family. Their mouth's were open, hands raised and laughter frozen, in that moment. She recalled... it had been raining. The park was deserted and there were no lines, for any of the rides. They'd actually ridden the giant roller coaster, four times in a row ! " That ... was a really great day," she smiled.

She held the photo closely, while peering into the expressions, of her . "The girls look so tiny. We all look... so young. Everyone's happy. Even him ," she thought. "... even him."

Her live a thousand miles away. They're adults now, with family's of their own. They call... occasionally. That amusement park has been closed, ages ago, torn down... and replaced with condos. She brushed her hair with her fingers... and glanced at her watch. Tears welled up in her eyes. She fought hard, not to blink.

Ever have one of those days, when sadness and nostalgia wrap around your throat, like a warm scarf... that you just don't want to take off - even if you know, it's choking you?

She stood there... clutching that photograph tightly, with both her hands ; afraid to let it go. She blinked. Tears fell... on cold black marble... in tiny mirrored puddles.

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Little Red Riding Hood... Wanted To Get Eaten... 😮
Posted:Nov 7, 2019 11:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:57 pm
Yeah... something different . Click on the pictures to see a LARGE view.

"But Grandmother!  What big teeth you have," said Little Red Riding Hood, her voice quivering slightly.

"The better to eat you with, my dear," roared the wolf.

Who doesn't know those words? The story of "Little Red Riding Hood" can be traced back to the tenth (10th) century, to several European folk tales.

The most known early version is one from Italy called, "The False Grandmother" (Italian: La finta nonna). Of course, the best known versions were written by Charles Perrault and the Brothers Grimm.

Folklorists and cultural anthropologists, saw "Little Red Riding Hood" in terms of solar myths and other naturally occurring cycles.

Her red hood could represent the bright sun which is ultimately swallowed by the terrible night (the wolf), and the variations in which she is cut out of the wolf's belly represent the dawn.

The tale has been interpreted as a puberty rite. The girl, leaving home, enters a liminal state and by going through the acts of the tale, is transformed into an adult woman by the act of coming out of the wolf's stomach.

Erotic, romantic, or r.ape connotations? I have those for you as well. A sexual analysis of the tale may also include negative connotations in terms of r.ape or abduction.

However, many revisionist retellings choose to focus on empowerment, and depict Little Red Riding Hood or the grandmother successfully defending herself against the wolf.

Such tellings bear some similarity to the "animal bridegroom" tales, such as 'Beauty and the Beast' or 'The Frog Prince', but where the heroines of those tales transform the hero into a prince, these tellings of Little Red Riding Hood reveal to the heroine that she has a wild nature like the hero's. These interpretations refuse to characterize Little Red Riding Hood as a victim; these are tales -of female empowerment.

What does this story mean to me? Well... I liked the drawings that I found, in the version I read to my . Soo innaproriate for young eyes aren't they? Almost like a horror movie. I often wonder if fairy tales were written to be read to as entertainment or just to scare the shit out of them. Some of them, scared the crap outta me.

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Sex In Jamaica... or in The Kitchen... FrankeeZee Had Hope... 😊
Posted:Nov 4, 2019 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:58 pm
I was over at Gina's place - *FrankeeZee's cousin - last Saturday. She and her husband Gino ( yes... Gina and Gino ), had bought a home entertainment system. FrankeeZee and I were crouched in the living room, buried in bubble wrap and styrofoam... hooking it up for them. The house was popping full of screaming and raucous adults.

Gina... and Maria ( another cousin), were sitting in the nearby kitchen - their two babies, crying on their laps. Their four other , were squealing and yelling ; chasing each other round... and under, Gina's large kitchen table.

Amidst the cacophony, the two 'Cousin Moms' jealously critiqued the latest pictures, from (their younger cousin) Lina - on vacation in Jamaica. Maria pointed to the cell phone and exclaimed (to no one in particular) ; "Look at Lina standing there on the beach. A fricken pineapple in her hand , a palm tree by her side... and the fricken ocean in the background. How is she there ... and we're HERE ? HOW ?"

"Condoms, " FrankeeZee blurted out to me, under his breath.

He plugged an RCA jack into the main console. I looked at my buddy and shook my head.

"What? It's true, for fucks sake," he rasped, nodding.

That 'new' wireless sound system we were installing, had speakers, in every room in the house. When FrankeeZee and I did the sound check, I'm not sure if anyone in THAT house, even heard it.

The were busy bursting bubble wrap, as FrankeeZee and I, finally escaped. We waved goodbye to 'all' and scurried into FrankeeZee's Jeep.

Sitting in that driveway, far from the mayhem (content in total silence)... we looked at each other and smiled. FrankeeZee spoke ; "When I have ? They're gonna be quiet . Ya know the type Paul. No screaming and yelling or crazy stuff. "

"How ya gonna manage that, Frankee? You're not into . You don't understand them or like them. You're never gonna have . It's too late for you."

FrankeeZee looked at me, slowly shook his head and smiled wryly. For a second... I thought I'd hurt Frankee's feelings. And then he spoke ; "Paul... get fucking serious! I'm gonna adopt . Hopefully... a university graduate."

FrankeeZee grinned a wide grin. Before I could reply, he'd started the engine, turned on the radio and was cruising out onto the main road. The volume was so loud, we couldn't talk. Just as well. I had nothing to say. What could I say?

I can't see FrankeeZee with , at all. Some folks are built for and some... aren't. Right?

*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
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