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| Blogs > Paulxx001 > Paul'S PlacE â âââ ââ |
WARNING... Not ALL WomeN... UnderstanD YouR SensE of HumouR... ðŪâ
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WARNING... Not ALL WomeN... UnderstanD YouR SensE of HumouR... ðŪâ I guess if I were to do things over, I would have held onto my SECOND remark to her. I thought it was worthy of a chuckle or at least a smile. I wasn't prepared when she aimed her taser at my testicles; is anyone? It began the way most blunders unravel; I had a decision to make â left or right? I enjoy the freedom of working from home. Even though I'm a slave to that computer screen, once a day, I unchain myself, step outdoors â and clear my head. Yesterday afternoon was no different from another, except fall weather had become blunt and bitter. I had to wear layers; a sweatshirt, my grey hoody, followed by a well-worn (*but oh so cozy*) fall jacket, topped off with a black cap and sunglasses. Of course, I lugged my trusty old knapsack filled with optional essentials. And those seasoned white runners â completed the look.  I usually hike a couple of miles or so, then at those lights near McDonald's, I turn right and trek back, but I thought to myself â why not push it? There's a huge box store up that road; let's make a LEFT and go for it. I'd definitely, find something to buy. It's one of those places that carry toasters and toilets â and anything else you'd ever want in life. I picked up some powdered Oxi Clean â there's a fricken coffee stain on my driver's seat. I paid for those crystals, then readied myself to lean back into that icy wind. That's when they â Security â approached. He was young, at least six foot three and muscled. She was middle-aged â loved donuts â and wore her light brown hair in a tight ponytail. Don't they all? She spoke in a sweet, almost apologetic voice. "Sir, can you open your knapsack for us, please?" I imagine I looked a little dishevelled, but I was surprised to be a suspect in a robbery. "You think I've stolen something?" I asked in a calm and measured tone. Mr. Muscles interjected gruffly, "Sir, there's no need to raise your voice and become confrontational and belligerent. I'll ask you politely, will you open your pack?" I figured I'd get playful â and threw in that SECOND remark towards the ponytailed uniform. "Listen, why don't we lose the tall grumpy guy, and you can take me to the back room â and search me in private." It's then, she reached for her taser and aimed. For fuck's sake, are you kidding? (*although, when i think about it now, i might have been a touch inappropriate. especially with someone who didn't know me*) I was led into their windowless office; it revealed one abused wooden table and a pair of green plastic chairs. The overhead fluorescent lights flickered, but the one-way mirror was surprisingly missing.  The whole performance took more than twenty-five minutes, yet as they opened that door and released me â I still had a dart to throw. "What, there's no pat-down?" They glared... but didn't budge. As I left that store, I realized TWO critical things. One: I may not have been wearing a suit and tie, but was all that bullshit necessary? Two: Thank goodness they never frisked me and checked my rear pant pocket. That's where I'd tucked those batteries; the ones I'd forgotten to pay for.  ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O |
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Any closet kleptos out there? ðŪâ Ok... seriously... Does everyone get your sense of humour, or do you have to explain it to people when you joke? ð ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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How often do YOU judge someone by the clothes they wear? ðĪ (*I guess another Q could have been; do you enjoy â giving or receiving âprostate exams? *) ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Jesus my friend. No wonder they stopped you.Going into a store with a backpack on even in my small town, would have security questioning one. Life is never boring with you eh!...lol. xoxo
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a pack of batteries? yep...you got over on em,alrite....my sense of humor as i have done some paul blart work myself... woop woop
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Nope, not everyone gets my sense of humor, or gets me in general. I had a message on Fetlife from someone who said "I used to chat with you on OKCupid and you were aloof as hell". OK, maybe he DID get me, lol. Hey, heard a podcast the other day that you might enjoy. Radiolab, Oct 22 episode named "Dakou". It's about how discarded "cutout" cassette tapes made their way to China and allowed people there to hear Western music for the first time. Before then, the only music they had access to were State-sponsored operas about the glorious workers defeating evil capitalists. (!).   
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LMAO @ she was middle aged.... loved donuts..... HILARIOUS!!!!
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I made a joke to a guy in my work building about his parole officer. He got real defensive. How was I to know he really had one? So, yes, my lame attempt at humor can backfire at times. Im no klepto and I am guilty of judging by dress. As in all men in tight jeans or a uniform are hot.
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hahaha how long did it take you to come up with that story.............lol. silky... 
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I was going through airport security years ago (MANY years ago), pre 9/11 times, and I was chosen for one of the random drug checks of my purse. So the TSA guy takes the little vacuum and goes through all the compartments, then runs the residue through the machine. After he told me I was good to go, I looked at him and asked "Was it good for you"? Poor guy blushed and my sister about died. Oh....and I carry a back pack. Never been stopped in a store for it.  Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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It's not the clothes that make the man a suspect, it's the backpack. I went into an adult toy store a few years ago, and couldn't even carry in my handbag, had to leave it in the car. Now mind you, I'm not a big purse person, I use the crossover small handbags, with just enough room for my cell phone and wallet, It's not like I was going to being to slip out with a supersized dildo hidden in there. ANd careful what you ask for, if store patdowns are anything like the TSA, that nice young man would have been getting to know your prostrate.
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10/28/2021 9:22 pm |
I guess the Police lack humor! But Backpack going to always draw attention.
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LOL Did ya have any knickers on? I don't give prostate exams. Not my style. Best revenge for asshat security officers is to start expelling any gas in your body. Feel free to be silent or loud. Extra credit for deadly gas. It helps hurry them along in their task. Hehehe
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yup! nothing says we trust you like security guards at the door! there is a world of difference between insane and stupid
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10/29/2021 3:12 am |
I was picked up by a female cop in the Dallas area in my youth. She frisked me twice, once on the side of the road, a second time before she locked me in a cell. After the 2nd frisking I commented, "If you ever want to get together sometime, you have my number". That resulted in a firm push into the cell.
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Store security staff seem to be either very officious in doing their job or very indifferent to doing their job. I want some in-between security staff!
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My state has recently decided to ignore open carry gun owners. It's always a little disconcerting to see some random guy with a big stainless pistol in a quickdraw holster at the home supply store. I have no idea what these people are thinking. I much prefer to see someone carrying a back pack than one of them. I usually try to stare at them continuously to see if I can make them nervous.
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Hmmm, you do like to push your luck, don't you? Didn't you learn anything from your previous encounter being found to possess 'unpaid for' items? Your sense of humour more often seems to get you into trouble rather than out of it especially with people in authority (like all those female police officers you have written about). And yes, certain assumptions are made about someone based on what they are wearing, including carrying a backpack into a retail store.
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Haven't seen any confrontations in person but I am sure it happens. I tend to assume that most people who find it necessary to carry a weapon to the hardware store are probably either very fearful or overcompensating for some other issue. What's scary to me is what they might do with it if scared a little more. A shootout in aisle three is not something I'm thinking anyone needs. Of course one of these guys may actually be present when a terrorist attacks the lumber yard or the tire changing place and I will eat my words then.....
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Big grin - And Paul, seeing as though everything has already been covered here, everybody already said what I wanted to say, "sulk", thus, I'll just stick to the "grin" cos really enjoyed outrageous you!  ..... And always 'hold onto all those sexy thoughts'! (Remember if you feel like taking part in some sexy fun then click here!) Come on Some Sketch Fun And Now How About 39Me39 Watching 39You39 If you39d like that Please Comment - So if you would like - click here as well!
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Oh my lord, you had me rolling with laughter here. Thank you, way too funny! *Creative Outlets of All Forms thru Me*
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