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Episode VI: Role Reversal
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Episode VI: Role Reversal See the first comment below for the post. Thanks for the read! Was going to try to show my 'still life' but it shows up bigger than life on the post!] How do you hide photos on this blog?? Still learning ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~ |
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Episode VI: Role Reversal He came home from work midday on a Friday white as a sheet. “She knows! She fucking knows about us!” We made love the night before…you know, like married people are supposed to do!! It had been about two weeks since I found out about the GF and since I joined MenNation.com. I was having my own private fun meeting folks online, learning about “the lifestyle”, flirting and making new friends. Though I was having fun, I was also grieving on the inside. It came out in certain conversations with gents on here. I would try to keep it positive as I chatted with them but one, in particular knew my story. He was always encouraging me to see “the glass half ful”l. He is my Poetry Man, so named in my mind for his incredible prose he’s sent me. He’s got talent. One day, when I was feeling particularly down, he wrote an analogy about dealing with pain; physical pain. Actually about a physical pain in the ass after a surgery with pins and how, one gets used to the pain until it eventually heals and the pain goes away. The GF was definitely a pain in my ass! As he scurried around the house trying to collect his thoughts he told me that she awoke up from a dream during the night when she “saw” us. “It was the exact time that we were having sex! She’s like a seer or something! She saw us!” He said, panic in his voice. “So?” I countered. “Isn’t that what married people do? She knows you’re married, right?” “Yeah, but she went ballistic! She wants me to come over right now and’ get my shit out of her house’!” ” You have stuff there?” “Keyboards; music stuff and some clothes” “Fuck me! You have clothes there?! Toothbrush too?” “Well, things she’s bought me. “ “So, this means a ‘break-up’ then?” I turned my head so he wouldn’t see my uncontrollable smile. “Yeah. I gotta get over there!” He had continued to go over there, parking at the gym he works out in [apparently she has a membership there too] He’d leave his phone in his car and they would continue their “workout” at her place traveling in her car so I wouldn’t know where she lived. I think he thought I would go all “Glenn Close” on them. I wouldn’t. I’m not that much of a drama queen. This time, though, he said he was taking his phone with him. I waited out the afternoon for him. Thinking he would be quick about it, I mean, if it’s a break up ‘n all. An hour goes by…then two…. then three. By the fourth hour, I was getting pissed. My mind went to all kinds of scenarios at this point. What’d they do?? Make up sex?? Fuck him. I thought. I started to get ready to leave for the night. Since I’d been doing these nights out by myself, I mean, what the hell? Before I left, I created a still life of my own on his pillow, replete with my wedding rings artfully laid on top. It sent a clear message, I thought. He came in after the fifth hour. He was tired, he said. Wanted a nap, he said. “Oh, hell no!” I yelled at him about him fucking all afternoon. He said that nothing happened. “Really? Nothing happened?” “She just yelled saying the same things over and over. She wouldn’t let me leave. I finally just left her there, still yelling”. I calmed down at that point and decided to just listen. To be honest, I don’t really remember that conversation so much. I let him vent as she had gone off on him. What I do remember after that conversation or ones after that was his ensuing statements: “We need to cool it for a while. I told her it only happened this one time.” * *[Personally, I liked that he was lying and telling half-truths to her and telling me the whole story, now] He went on to say: “I know this sounds strange, but I almost feel like I’m cheating on her with you”. WTF???!!! I know I say that a lot in my story. But, really…What.The.Fuck.!!! Role Reversal. Since most of the men I was chatting, okay, and plotting to meetup with someday were married, I was getting kind of used to the “role of the ‘Other Woman’”. But not in my own home; not in my own marriage. I laughed sardonically. “Wow! It’s official, then. I am Every Man’s Other Woman.” Think I’ll design a T-shirt with that. Wonder if it would sell? ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Although there are mixed messages about agency and boundaries in relationships (unsurprising, given our cultural taboos about polyamory), what truly resonates in your post is the transparency and emotional sharing you and your husband have established. Relationships are fraught with so many secrets. While some are appropriate (even required), there is a psychological toll exacted from filtering and spinning our real-time emotions. I find it commendable that you and your husband are able to not only discuss, but cooperatively resolve, issues that would ignite a lot of couples with spontaneous combustion. Your t-shirt idea is edgy, but- in a proper social setting- would be taken with the sense of humor with which it is intended.
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Quite an amazing tale. What I find MOST amazing though is that you were having sex with him mere weeks after finding out about "the other woman".  You Gotta Wonder Holiday Festivities, on HNW Round 3 of You Know You Like A Game for the Blogging Community [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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Always, but always appreciate your thoughts and remarks!
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