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Episode XI: The Hostess with the Mostest
Episode XI: The Hostess with the Mostest He woke me up early on a Saturday. “C’mon, I want to show you something”, he said as he pried the covers off me. Uh oh, I thought. What’d I do with the checking account this time? I walked tentatively down the hall and sat at his computer, steeling myself for what was to come. “See this profile? Read it and tell me what you think”. Puzzled, I saw a profile of a woman. She was about my age, very well put together with laughing eyes and a great smile. “She and her husband host parties. They have a hot tub. ” “Parties? What kind of parties?” “Adult parties. Play parties. Where you can meet people and, well…play! They have an awesome Halloween party” “Okay. And how do you know? “ “Oh! Well, I’ve been to a party there. I didn’t do anything. I just went to see what they’re like.” That’s like Bill Clinton’s first public lie: “I smoked but I didn’t inhale”… I said a long, drawn out “Okaaaay…” “I told her about you. I sent her your picture. I didn’t have any of your profile pics so I sent this one.” It was me in the car, hair back, no makeup…not my finest moment. “She wants to meet you”. “She does? Well, next time we are heading down south, we can schedule time to do that.” “Tomorrow. She and her husband want to meet you tomorrow. They’re fixing a lunch for us.” I gulped. When everything was starting to come to light last year, and the hubs made it clear that life as we had known it was over, we talked about the possibility of threesomes or foursomes, or swapping. In fact, we had started conversing with a couple of couples. “We’re just talking,” my hubs would say in an effort to assuage my fears. Part of the appeal was the opportunity to expand our social circle; finding folks to do things with. I mean, really, when we looked at the friends that we knew, it was kind of an either/or thing: where either I’d like the wife, but my hubs didn’t have much in common with her hubs…or vice versa. You ever run into that? There was one couple we were slated to meet during the shutdown, but they cancelled. I think she got cold feet. I empathized with her. I was grateful; the dude seemed a tad aggressive. “It’s okay, it’s just the two of them, I think. There’s the hot tub if you want. It’s just a meet and greet”. “Are we talking swapping? Or just nekkid in the bubbles?” “You control it. It would be up to you.” “Holy shit, honey, I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet!” Up to this point, no one had seen me nekkid. Oh, except Mr. ICU. And the idea of watching my husband with someone else?? Me with someone else??? “Then you’ll just meet them. We’ll drive down and back tomorrow. It’ll be fun!”, he said, all bouncy and happy; like Tigger on a wonderfully, glorious day! The next day I changed my outfit about four times. I carefully put on my makeup. I texted Mr. ICU and told him what was up. He was certainly game; he wanted to go with me to a party there. “Maybe down the line, my friend. I don’t think I’m ready to share you yet,” I texted back. I was beyond nervous. When I am nervous, I react usually one of two ways: I’m either very quiet or very talky. That day, I was both. I asked a million questions…we were practicing “honest” communication at that point. Like the drip, drip, drip of a faucet, truth will come out of his mouth…I just have to wait for it. It’s a two-hour drive to their place so, a lot of truth came out that day. “So, how’d you meet this person?” “Online, not MenNation.com, though. Another site I’m on.” Ah yes, through my earlier investigative ventures, I had learned that my husband has been on several sites: Ashley Madison, MenNation.com, MenNation.com affiliate sites, Match, Our Time, etc. “So tell me about first meeting her.” “Well, she always likes a first meet before extending an invitation to her house parties. She screens everybody. Remember when I told you I went by myself to the fairgrounds down there to see a concert because my buddy didn’t get a hold of me soon enough?” “uh huh” “Well, I met with her for coffee and she invited me to go to the concert with her and her sister. That’s how I got to know her.” “Oh.” “She actually hosts a group that meets monthly too. They meet at a restaurant for like two hours or so, then they head over to her place for the party. Not everyone participates. Some just go to her party to chat and party, but leave when the Play time starts.” I asked again for clarification…” So, how many parties of hers have you been to?” Drip. Drip. Drip. “Three or Four”. “And never participated?” “Mostly” “Mostly???” “Well, I did meet one gal. But I left before things got too crazy.” [Bill Clinton’s 2nd public lie, “I did not have sex with that woman!”] As the miles rolled away I learned that he left alright, with the gal. I also learned that the couple has a beach house with parties as well. “Remember when I met up with you and Jackie at the Casino at the beach?” “Yeah, you said you were riding the bike trail down there” “Well, I did…but I also went to a party down there. I camped out in their backyard. Lots of folks did.” Drip. Drip. Drip. Finally, I asked, “Okay….Now, is there anything else you need to tell me before we get there? Anything? Anything at all? Anything, I might need to know…” Drip……………Drip. “well, I guess you might want to know that I hooked up with her.” “Who? The Hostess?” Oh good Gawd Almighty!! I couldn’t help it, my eyes rolled. Slapping my thigh, and then his arm I said drop-jawed, “Seriously, dude?!” FUUUUUUUCK Me!! A few miles down the road I asked him how was it? “It was fun. She’s into DP.” I couldn’t ask too much more. [like, what's DP? Remember, I am "Alice in Fuckland"; lol.] By this time, we were rolling into their driveway. We got out of the car, I let my hair down and straightened my shirt. As we walked up the walkway, I couldn’t help noticing how “normal” everything looked. I don’t know what I was expecting, really…a decorative street lamp with a red light, maybe? The undulating sculpture that framed Keanu Reeves in The Devil’s Advocate? Nope, it was just a typical suburban house. She answered the door and warmly bade us to come in. We said our hellos and the hubs and her exchanged light banter as we came into the dining room. Our Hostess was very warm and talkative. Her house, like mine, was chock full of stuff. She gave us a brief tour and made drinks for us as we sat at the dining table. She and the hubs talked; catching up like old friends. The drip of the truth faucet was starting to run like a nose with hay fever in the Spring. I learned so much more between the two of them. All I could do was give the hubs “The Look” across the table. He just smiled, amused at my reactions. They shared more details about that concert and about what she does. She and her hubs are quite active in the lifestyle and have been married 44 years, swinging for 43. She is the organizer for a monthly meetup group for her parties, and maintains a discreet Facebook page for swingers as well. As we moved to their patio, where there was lots of seating and the hot tub, she explained the reasoning for screening potential party-goers. “We want this to be fun for everyone, not just an alternative hookup place for couples or affairs and NO DRAMA. So, I always make sure everyone is on the same page: if they are married, I ask if the spouse/partner knows what’s going on.” “Huh,” I mused. ”So how’d you make the cut?” I asked the hubs. This whole time her hubs was there too. He was cordial but quiet, he didn’t join much in the conversation. He was limping, favoring his right foot. He started to warm up when I asked how they met; and how they got into the lifestyle. The whole time I was picturing all of us in the tub, swapped up and decided…. Nah, I couldn’t do it. It’d be like two strangers paired up on a double date at the drive-in while the other couple, familiarly got it on in the back seat. Besides, I got the vibe that he wasn’t interested much either. But they were gracious hosts. She is a strong, boisterous, convivial woman that you can tell warms a room or a party the minute she enters the scene. He is her stalwart strength; her anchor that watches everything and lets her be The Hostess with the Mostest. After lunch they gave us a tour of their backyard, and even gave us some zucchini [but of course! ] to take home with us. We said our thank you’s and goodbyes, promising to come again when things start opening up. As we headed home, I sighed and thought this truly was a wonderfully glorious, day. ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~ |
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He woke me up early on a Saturday. “C’mon, I want to show you something”, he said as he pried the covers off me. Uh oh, I thought. What’d I do with the checking account this time? I walked tentatively down the hall and sat at his computer, steeling myself for what was to come. “See this profile? Read it and tell me what you think”. Puzzled, I saw a profile of a woman. She was about my age, very well put together with laughing eyes and a great smile. “She and her husband host parties. They have a hot tub. ” “Parties? What kind of parties?” “Adult parties. Play parties. Where you can meet people and, well…play! They have an awesome Halloween party” “Okay. And how do you know? “ “Oh! Well, I’ve been to a party there. I didn’t do anything. I just went to see what they’re like.” That’s like Bill Clinton’s first public lie: “I smoked but I didn’t inhale”… I said a long, drawn out “Okaaaay…” “I told her about you. I sent her your picture. I didn’t have any of your profile pics so I sent this one.” It was me in the car, hair back, no makeup…not my finest moment. “She wants to meet you”. “She does? Well, next time we are heading down south, we can schedule time to do that.” “Tomorrow. She and her husband want to meet you tomorrow. They’re fixing a lunch for us.” I gulped. When everything was starting to come to light last year, and the hubs made it clear that life as we had known it was over, we talked about the possibility of threesomes or foursomes, or swapping. In fact, we had started conversing with a couple of couples. “We’re just talking,” my hubs would say in an effort to assuage my fears. Part of the appeal was the opportunity to expand our social circle; finding folks to do things with. I mean, really, when we looked at the friends that we knew, it was kind of an either/or thing: where either I’d like the wife, but my hubs didn’t have much in common with her hubs…or vice versa. You ever run into that? There was one couple we were slated to meet during the shutdown, but they cancelled. I think she got cold feet. I empathized with her. I was grateful; the dude seemed a tad aggressive. “It’s okay, it’s just the two of them, I think. There’s the hot tub if you want. It’s just a meet and greet”. “Are we talking swapping? Or just nekkid in the bubbles?” “You control it. It would be up to you.” “Holy shit, honey, I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet!” Up to this point, no one had seen me nekkid. Oh, except Mr. ICU. And the idea of watching my husband with someone else?? Me with someone else??? “Then you’ll just meet them. We’ll drive down and back tomorrow. It’ll be fun!”, he said, all bouncy and happy; like Tigger on a wonderfully, glorious day! The next day I changed my outfit about four times. I carefully put on my makeup. I texted Mr. ICU and told him what was up. He was certainly game; he wanted to go with me to a party there. “Maybe down the line, my friend. I don’t think I’m ready to share you yet,” I texted back. I was beyond nervous. When I am nervous, I react usually one of two ways: I’m either very quiet or very talky. That day, I was both. I asked a million questions…we were practicing “honest” communication at that point. Like the drip, drip, drip of a faucet, truth will come out of his mouth…I just have to wait for it. It’s a two-hour drive to their place so, a lot of truth came out that day. “So, how’d you meet this person?” “Online, not MenNation.com, though. Another site I’m on.” Ah yes, through my earlier investigative ventures, I had learned that my husband has been on several sites: Ashley Madison, MenNation.com, MenNation.com affiliate sites, Match, Our Time, etc. “So tell me about first meeting her.” “Well, she always likes a first meet before extending an invitation to her house parties. She screens everybody. Remember when I told you I went by myself to the fairgrounds down there to see a concert because my buddy didn’t get a hold of me soon enough?” “uh huh” “Well, I met with her for coffee and she invited me to go to the concert with her and her sister. That’s how I got to know her.” “Oh.” “She actually hosts a group that meets monthly too. They meet at a restaurant for like two hours or so, then they head over to her place for the party. Not everyone participates. Some just go to her party to chat and party, but leave when the Play time starts.” I asked again for clarification…” So, how many parties of hers have you been to?” Drip. Drip. Drip. “Three or Four”. “And never participated?” “Mostly” “Mostly???” “Well, I did meet one gal. But I left before things got too crazy.” [Bill Clinton’s 2nd public lie, “I did not have sex with that woman!”] As the miles rolled away I learned that he left alright, with the gal. I also learned that the couple has a beach house with parties as well. “Remember when I met up with you and Jackie at the Casino at the beach?” “Yeah, you said you were riding the bike trail down there” “Well, I did…but I also went to a party down there. I camped out in their backyard. Lots of folks did.” Drip. Drip. Drip. Finally, I asked, “Okay….Now, is there anything else you need to tell me before we get there? Anything? Anything at all? Anything, I might need to know…” Drip……………Drip. “well, I guess you might want to know that I hooked up with her.” “Who? The Hostess?” Oh good Gawd Almighty!! I couldn’t help it, my eyes rolled. Slapping my thigh, and then his arm I said drop-jawed, “Seriously, dude?!” FUUUUUUUCK Me!! A few miles down the road I asked him how was it? “It was fun. She’s into DP.” I couldn’t ask too much more; by this time, we were rolling into their driveway. We got out of the car, I let my hair down and straightened my shirt. As we walked up the walkway, I couldn’t help noticing how “normal” everything looked. I don’t know what I was expecting, really…a decorative street lamp with a red light, maybe? The undulating sculpture that framed Keanu Reeves in The Devil’s Advocate? Nope, it was just a typical suburban house. She answered the door and warmly bade us to come in. We said our hellos and the hubs and her exchanged light banter as we came into the dining room. Our Hostess was very warm and talkative. Her house, like mine, was chock full of stuff. She gave us a brief tour and made drinks for us as we sat at the dining table. She and the hubs talked; catching up like old friends. The drip of the truth faucet was starting to run like a nose with hay fever in the Spring. I learned so much more between the two of them. All I could do was give the hubs “The Look” across the table. He just smiled, amused at my reactions. They shared more details about that concert and about what she does. She and her hubs are quite active in the lifestyle and have been married 44 years, swinging for 43. She is the organizer for a monthly meetup group for her parties, and maintains a discreet Facebook page for swingers as well. As we moved to their patio, where there was lots of seating and the hot tub, she explained the reasoning for screening potential party-goers. “We want this to be fun for everyone, not just an alternative hookup place for couples or affairs and NO DRAMA. So, I always make sure everyone is on the same page: if they are married, I ask if the spouse/partner knows what’s going on.” “Huh,” I mused. ”So how’d you make the cut?” I asked the hubs. This whole time her hubs was there too. He was cordial but quiet, he didn’t join much in the conversation. He was limping, favoring his right foot. He started to warm up when I asked how they met; and how they got into the lifestyle. The whole time I was picturing all of us in the tub, swapped up and decided…. Nah, I couldn’t do it. It’d be like two strangers paired up on a double date at the drive-in while the other couple, familiarly got it on in the back seat. Besides, I got the vibe that he wasn’t interested much either. But they were gracious hosts. She is a strong, boisterous, convivial woman that you can tell warms a room or a party the minute she enters the scene. He is her stalwart strength; her anchor that watches everything and lets her be The Hostess with the Mostest. After lunch they gave us a tour of their backyard, and even gave us some zucchini [but of course! ] to take home with us. We said our thank you’s and goodbyes, promising to come again when things would start opening up. As we headed home, I sighed and thought this truly was a wonderfully glorious, day. ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Uh oh... I know what I'll have on my mind all day now. hehe
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Baby steps will get you just about anywhere, if you really want to go. One More Thing for the Day I Almost Feel Cheated Everything I Know About Shakespeare I Learned via Jeopardy [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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So is there going to be a return trip. Or was this all for your hubby good time. Since it don't sound you are to much into her husband. If there was party would it be different with other men and women to choose from. I've. Never been to a party like this. I am a one and one alone together some where.
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Hey Bustin’, .........That sounds like a Ton of Fun!........I wish that I was there with you!......... Sinfully Yours, backpocket13
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Hey Bustin’, .........That sounds like a Ton of Fun!........I wish that I was there with you!......... Sinfully Yours, backpocket13 ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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4/20/2021 12:52 pm |
Baby steps always good
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I can still here that tap dripping
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Good read! How were the the zucchinis? Did you make any bread?
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Nope. Just grilled them on the barbie...yummy! Yes, take that anyway you want, lol ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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A very enjoyable read. (I like The Devil's Advocate reference = One of my favorites) Question: How do you do multiple pictures with text in between? *. *. *
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