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Ramblings of the depraved.....
Welcome to my blog!
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Hot for orthodontist.....
Posted:Aug 9, 2016 8:18 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2023 4:53 pm

My had an ortho appointment today.

I don't know if it's his accent, or his professional demeanor, whatever it is, I find him incredibly sexy.

Nerdy guys will always have a special spot in my heart.

It's too bad I always find myself in relationships with guys who are the exact opposite. They seem to be drawn to me, as if an unseen tractor beam is sucking them in.
The bearded woman was back.
Posted:Aug 8, 2016 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2023 4:53 pm

It was in my old blog that I had written about it, but in short, the bearded woman was shopping in my store one day, and overheard me talking about a failed relationship.

She then proceeded to give me dating advice.

It's sad to say, but I'm pretty much a loser magnet. As pathetic as that is, it's even worse that I'm receiving dating advice from a woman with a beard who has managed to find a keeper and been married for 23 years.

What did she do right that I keep managing to do wrong?

I haven't figured that part out yet.

Her advice was sage, though, and spot on. It was kind of nice to see her, and fill her in on the latest.
The problem with working in the public?
Posted:Aug 7, 2016 11:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2016 8:11 pm

On your days off, you want NOTHING at all to do with people.

I find myself holed up in my apartment today, watching Netflix, and lounging in my pj's. I toyed with the idea of taking a shower and doing something productive.....

I just can't bring myself to do it.

Looks like I'll shoot for productive on my next day off.
When the going get's tough....
Posted:Aug 6, 2016 7:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2016 11:19 am

I buy shoes.

Feeling a little depressed today. Time for some new shoes.
After Work Freak Out
Posted:Aug 5, 2016 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2023 4:53 pm

We all have them once in a while, today was mine.

I got home for work today and discovered my tv was on when I walked through the door.

Immediately, I scan my brain trying to remember if I left it on when I left for work, what channel was I watching, did anything in my apartment seem.... Off.

Freaked out, I systematically turned on all the lights, room by room, and checked each and every closet to make sure there wasn't someone there, who shouldn't be there.

I've watched too many crime dramas and murder mysteries.

There are so many crazy people in this world, you just never know.
Septic Safe
Posted:Aug 4, 2016 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2023 4:53 pm

I was grabbing the last roll of toilet paper from under the bathroom sink when I noticed the small writing on the side of the plastic wrap it was packaged in.

Septic Safe

Septic safe?? Do they make a toilet paper that isn't septic safe? I'd hate to be living in the household that uses the toilet paper that isn't septic safe....
It's 2am. I should be sleeping, but I'm not.
Posted:Aug 4, 2016 12:22 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2016 3:09 pm

My anxiety is super high today. Went to bed at 11pm, this is the second time I've woken up, so I might as well just..... Get up.

As a special treat, I took my through the drive thru at Mickey D's and ordered a couple of items off the 2/$5 menu. When I got to the window, I had already waited in the line for a full 20 minutes and was feeling frustrated. So, when the guy turned to me, repeated my order, and told me my total was $10.34, I came unglued.

Not in the deranged, scene-making screaming woman kind of way, but worse. I was sharp tongued and harshly critical.

"You got the filet-o-fish and the 10 piece nugget with barbecue?" Mouth agape, limited intelligence, long fingernails.


"That's $10.34." Sweating. Missing a front tooth.

"I ordered 2 items from the 2/$5 menu. That total is not correct." Not even trying to conceal my irritation.

"She must have put your order in wrong." Still standing there with an outstretched hand, waiting for me to hand over my card. Stretch marks on his arms, fingernails grossing the hell out of me.

"I'm not paying $10.34," I snapped back at him. Looking away. He slowly turned to fix my order.

When we pulled away from the window, my asked me why I was so picky about money.

She is 8 and now noticing stuff.

I told her the truth. I told her that I have to work really hard to make money and it's not right to have to pay more for something than I should. $10.34 represented 1 hour of my time at work, which meant in order for me to pay for that mistake I had to be away from her for 1 hour.

This, she understood.

If it were up to her, I would never work. Unfortunately, I'm a single mom and the sole income in our household, so I don't get that option.
It's true.
Posted:Aug 2, 2016 7:49 pm
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2016 12:19 am

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for older men.

A little grey at the temples, laugh lines around the eyes, the wisdom of someone who has been around the block a time or two....

Someone on the same intellectual level as me.

I miss that.

Up until recently I was seeing someone younger than I am. Not by much, but it was the first time ever.

Looking back, I realize now, it would never have worked out for us. All the aspects I find attractive in a man were things he could not achieve. I would always be the older one.
Road Rage, Grandma Moses, and Goat Shit
Posted:Aug 1, 2016 7:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2021 10:19 pm

What do they have in common?


Ok, so, I thought it was kind of funny. LOL

On the way to work today I was not ONLY cut off by a black malibu that did a U-turn in front of me as I tried to turn into traffic, but I was also CUT OFF moments later by a silver car that decided to pull out into traffic right in front of me and block both lanes, sitting sideways, because the car in the next lane slowed down to turn right.


In both cases the drivers were people who had enough miles under their belt to know this is the shit that causes accidents.

Somehow, I managed to make it to work in one piece only to have to deal with Grandma Moses. The woman had no intentions on having me help her shop, she wouldn't even take a paper towel from me to wipe soap from her hands.

What am I? A fucking leper?

My male coworker, however, she treated like her long lost best friend.


The pinnacle of my day, however, was stepping in goat shit at my ex-husband's house, picking up my . It just isn't a bad day until you find your sandled foot in a pile of shit.
1 comment
Why don't I hang out with coworkers outside of work?
Posted:Jul 31, 2016 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 4:47 pm

Because I'm older than they are by about 20 years.

Cripes.... What was I thinking?

The managers and I all got together at the tavern today after the store closed. It was pleasant, and I enjoyed being able to get together with them outside of a work situation, but I still felt out of place. It's tough when they are experiencing all this stuff for the first time, and I've been around the block already.

Who could have known this would happen so fast?

I remember when I was the youngest person in the group, usually catching all the flack because I was a "young'n".

Now I'm old.

What has been seen, can never be, unseen.....
Posted:Jul 30, 2016 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 6:32 pm

I don't know about you, but I ALWAYS know when I have skin showing that shouldn't be.

Cold air wafting across bare skin......

It's a dead give away. TIME TO COVER UP!

I often wonder how it has come to be that some people don't notice this. How is it that 3 inches of your ass crack can be showing and you have no INKLING as to what is going on back there?

Today I had the illustrious honor of seeing nearly all of my neighbor's ass as she bent over to pick up her dropped keys.

It was a little horrifying.

I wish I could say I'm not one to judge, but that would be a lie. I judge. I judge everyone. I really have no place doing so, but I do.

I have judged this neighbor pretty harshly, too. She and her husband live across the hall, they have 2 . They are horrible parents who are always yelling at each other and their are always crying. They are unclean, have intelligence issues, and frankly scare me just a hair.

And now I've seen a sight that can't be unseen.

1 comment
Well, kiss my grits.
Posted:Jul 29, 2016 3:09 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 6:59 pm

Feeling a little nostalgic today, for some reason.

What's up with that?

I've been hopelessly addicted to the show "Shameless", literally binge-watching 2 to 3 episodes at a time since I discovered it last weekend.

It's like a train wreck you just can't pull your eyes away from!

The part that bothers me is how much of it reminds me of different moments and memories in my life. Granted, I didn't grow up in a slum of Chicago, but I had a father that was a lot like Frank. Alcoholic, never kept a regular job, but his one redeeming quality was the fact that he checked out of my life when I was nine and never really checked back in. My mother was a Monica. Addicted to pain pills for as long as I can remember, she worked the system and lived off welfare her entire life. When I was 18 I had to take her to the emergency room to get her stomach pumped after nearly overdosing, it was the third time she'd done this. I wish I could say it was the last, but it wouldn't work out that way. I lost her 3 years ago to an overdose, she fell asleep and never woke up. Two of my had never met her, my third barely remembered her.

Very few people know this, about me. Somehow, I've managed to keep a lot of my past a closely guarded secret. It helps that my family isn't close, nobody to pop in and burst that bubble. Every once in a while, when I'm feeling talkative, I'll tell a tale to a coworker or friend, and I usually get the same response.

In the words of my coworker yesterday, "I love your stories. It's hard to believe that stuff actually happened!"

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that stuff actually happened.

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